ACTUAL CHURCH BULLETIN BLOOPERS:

The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

The pastor would appreciate if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.

For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.

The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth into Joy."

Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing service will be discontinued until further notice.

Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All"

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement noon Friday at 7 PM.  The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.  Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.

Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.

Thursday night-Potluck Supper.  Prayer and medication to follow.

This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.  Please use large double door at the side entrance.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.